HE'S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH
by Earenniel
Summary: Dean's been through enough, and he can't take it anymore. What I would like to see happen in the next ep of Supernatural "Death's Door". Contains references to the episode promo of the same name. My first fic on here guys! XD Hope you like...
1. Chapter 1

Okay guys, this is my first post on here! I have been writing on and off for a few years now, but so far have never posted anything on here till now! :D I have so many fics I would like to share with you all, trouble is most of them are a bit old and as such need dusting off and polishing up a bit so to speak :P But keep a weather eye on the horizon because I am determined to get them out there! :D So without further ado i'll leave you with this piece that came about after watching the latest episode of Supernatural last night. I am very afraid for Bobby and I hope his fate won't be what im dreading it will be.

Characters belong to Eric Kripke and his amazing team :) Hope you like it!

HE'S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH.

He stood and watched as they worked on Bobby – a fellow hunter, a friend, a surrogate father, someone who meant so much to him and to whom he had sworn to never give up. They had saved each other from giving up, actually. He was vaguely aware of someone pushing past him. A million scattered thoughts and memories engulfed him, like little mini movies inside his head they played out. A million moments from the smallest thing – a worried glance, a wise shaking of the head, an amused "idjit", a well deserved slap to the back of his head, to the biggest of sacrifices - a prominent one being bobby stabbing his own leg and condemning himself to a wheelchair for what could have been the rest of his life rather than kill Dean, all rushed through his mind at such incredible speed that he had difficulty keeping up. This man had done so much for him, had looked out for him and taken care of him for years, even when Dean himself would never had admitted that he needed it, craved it, was desperate for it. But Bobby knew. He had always known. There was comfort to be found in his presence, as if, with him around nothing bad would happen. He had been part of Dean's life for so long, that he didn't think he could survive losing him. Not him too, not Bobby, not after he had lost everyone else that mattered to him.

He didn't feel the pain as his knees crashed to the ground. He wasn't aware of Sam kneeling hastily in front of him. He didn't feel the pain as he clenched his hands into fists, digging his fingernails into his palms so deep that he drew blood. He didn't register that he was swaying. He didn't feel Sam gripping his shoulders, steadying him. He didn't see Sam's worried eyes looking into his, a thousand different emotions displayed there. He didn't hear Sam's soothing words. A tidal wave of emotion surged through him. It bubbled up and threatened to force its way out. 'No no no no' he thought. 'I can't do this, I can't let myself do this. I have to be strong. Always have to be strong'. But it came up through him so fast he couldn't stop it. A primal scream of tortured agony exploded from his body, a sound so utterly raw and painful and terrible and _angry_ that it shook Sam to his very core. Dean knew he was in trouble when his eyes began to burn and his vision blurred, and his anguished cry gave way to actual tears that spilled down his face and dripped onto the tile floor. He bowed his head and covered his face with his hands in a futile attempt to hide his weakness not only from Sam but from the strangers all around him that were watching his mini-breakdown with morbid fascination. He made an effort to stop the seemingly never-ending flow of tears, he couldn't break down like this, he couldn't, and oh my god did he just start sobbing? It was then that he felt himself falling forward, only to be caught by Sam, who wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him close, who was in such a state by now couldn't understand the comforting words Sam was whispering in his ear, nor did he want to listen. He felt the odd sensation of wetness on his ear, and it was then that he realized that Sam was crying too. They stayed that way, holding each other, kneeling on the freezing cold tile floor for what seemed like forever.

After what seemed like forever but was in fact only a couple of minutes, Sam struggled to get his breathing under control, and pulling away from Dean realized that at some point Dean had already stopped crying, and was just staring, at nothing seemingly. He knew he had to get up, they had to get to Bobby, had to see if he was ok, was he even still alive? He got no response when he said Dean's name. He looked into Dean's eyes, trying to catch his gaze, and was shocked at what he saw in them. He understood the pain, the fear, the anger, the frustration, the helplessness. He understood because he felt it too, and knew from experience that they were just default emotions for people who were worried for their loved ones. What scared him though, was the complete and utter _emptiness _in them. It was like Dean had checked out, and it was only a shell of what this man used to be kneeling in front of him. He said Dean's name again, louder and more urgent this time, and this time he must have got through as he watched Dean slowly lift his head to meet his gaze.

"Dean, the doctor's coming."

Reviews are amazing, it will make me the happiest person on the planet if you take the time to tell me what you think, i'll even give you cyber cookies! :D Constructive criticism is welcomed and appreciated :D Thank you so much!


	2. SILENCE

Ok people, before you read I just want to make one thing clear, I will be writing two versions of this chapter, so not to worry :D

Supernatural and its characters belong to Eric Kripke and his amazing team.

Dedicated to Steph and Kim, and every single person who reviewed my previous chapter. Love, hugs and cookies to you all! :D 3

SILENCE

Dean stood in the too-quiet room. He was all alone. Sam wasn't ready to come in yet. He could hear with minute clarity the frenzy of activity going on just outside the door. The unmistakable sound of a gurney's squeaky wheels as it was pushed down the hospital corridor, people rushing about, talking too loudly, doctor's chatting, nurses giggling, normal people doing their jobs, going about their lives. He found it a strange contrast to the heavy silence. As if the rest of the world didn't know about this room. As if they didn't know he was there, as if it was just him. Him and the figure lying in the bed to his left. He didn't want to look to his left, but he knew he had to. He had to see him. Even if he would carry that devastating, heart-breaking image with him the rest of his life, he had to, he owed him that. But not yet though. He carefully picked his way over to the single chair by the bed, mindful to keep his eyes glued to the floor for the time being. He registered the cold metallic hardness of the chair as he sat down, and wondered if that was a cruel metaphor for what his life was about to become. Harder, colder, without the warm and comforting presence of yet another person he held dear. As his thoughts drifted, he momentarily forgot where he was and when his gaze unconsciously fluttered upwards, he wasn't ready. And yet his eyes had already seen him. He took a harsh intake of breath, and nearly broke down again right there and then at the sight. He looked down quickly, and fought to keep his emotions in check. He failed. One tear left his eye and started its journey down his pale face, as he forced himself to look back up. At that point, he didn't care who saw him, he didn't care about anything anymore. He reached out his shaking hand and rested it on other hand laying motionless on the bed. He let his gaze drift over to his surrogate father's face. He stared at that face, taking in every detail. Knowing he soon would only be able to see it from memory. All the lines of stress and worry had disappeared and in its place there was a serene, peaceful, almost blissful expression. As if, wherever Bobby's soul was going, he was thrilled to be going there. The thought suddenly popped into his head at how strange it was seeing Bobby without his signature baseball cap. He would have smiled at that, if he didn't feel so devastated inside. He slowly lowered his head to rest on Bobby's chest, breathing in his familiar scent of petrol, car oil and the strong odour of whisky, mixed with the clean, antiseptic smell of the hospital. He was still warm. It was then that Dean finally let go, releasing the dam that had been holding back this terrible, terrible flood of emotions inside him. He didn't make a sound. He just let the tears flow.

_Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?  
>Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry<br>And everything, it will surely change even if I tell you I won't go away today  
>Will you think that you're all alone<br>When no one's there to hold your hand?  
>And all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary rest your head<br>I'm permanent ._

Song lyrics by David Cook. Song – Permanent.

Read and review people, just don't hate me forever! :P


	3. PERMANENT

Ok, so here it is, the alternate version of my previous chapter, Silence. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it! :)

PERMANENT

Dean stood in the too-quiet room. He was all alone. Sam wasn't ready to come in yet. He could hear with minute clarity the frenzy of activity going on just outside the door. The unmistakable sound of a gurney's squeaky wheels as it was pushed down the hospital corridor, people rushing about, talking too loud, doctor's chatting, nurses giggling, normal people doing their jobs, going about their lives. He found it a strange contrast to the almost unbearable heavy silence that seemed to settle like a thick fog all around him . As if the rest of the world didn't know about this room. As if they didn't know he was there, as if it was just him. Just Dean and the figure lying in the bed to his right. He looked to the floor, then up to the ceiling, then to his left, anywhere that kept his gaze from drifting over to the hospital bed containing the only person in his entire life (except Sammy and his Father) that he would willingly lay down his life for. Given the chance, he would change all of this in a heartbeat. He would gladly be the one lying in that bed hooked up to countless machines if that meant that Bobby would be ok. He didn't want to look to his right, but he knew he had to.

Not yet though.

He carefully sat down on the only chair by the bed, registering the cold metallic hardness of it as he did so, and wondered if that was a cruel metaphor for what his life might become. Hard, cold, without the reassuring, comforting presence of yet another person he held dear. He couldn't let himself think like that though. Bobby was invincible. He always had been. Dean had been with him in countless near-death situations where Bobby had fearlessly battled with whatever ghost, ghoul or witch they happened to be ganking at the time. He had seen him rushing into dangerous places to save innocent people almost his entire life, not to mention the various Winchester quarrels he had had to break up, which, if it involved all three of them, was about the scariest thing anyone could witness. There was nothing that scared him, nothing he couldn't overcome. If anyone could pull through this, it was him. He had to be ok. He just had to be.

Dean pulled in a slow, deep breath. He knew the time had come.

He slowly inched his emerald green eyes upwards, trying to prepare himself in those last few seconds for what he was about to see, even though he knew it was a futile attempt. What he saw when his eyes finally completed their journey and rested upon the still figure lying in front of him touched his tortured, weary soul in a place he didn't even know existed. His heart started thumping against his chest, as despair and overwhelming pain wrapped around it. He felt the hot sting of tears starting to form at the back of his eyes, as the wave of emotions he was currently feeling threatened to overwhelm him. He wouldn't let them, even in his comatose state, he wouldn't let Bobby see how weak he was. He had to be strong, had to be strong for Bobby if he had any hope of getting through this. But it hurt to see his surrogate father like this. Pale, weak, _vulnerable. _It hurt so bad Dean knew he had to do something to distract himself, otherwise he would just fall apart in that damn chair. His gaze drifted across the old hunter's body, noticing the tiny pinprick of blood where the IV needle had punctured Bobby's hand. He suddenly realized that it wasn't, in fact, wholly silent in the room. He could hear the steady, rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor. Letting him know that Bobby, even though he was as quiet and still as Dean had ever seen him, was still alive and kicking. He winced as he looked upon the nasal canulla attached to Bobby's face and realised that there was a silver lining to all this, at least he was breathing on his own. Kind of.

Bobby suddenly shifted slightly in the bed, letting out a small huff of frustration. Dean's head shot up, his thoughts interrupted, his gaze locked onto the other hunter, as hope suddenly kindled in his soul. His whole face lit up with a gigantic grin as suddenly there they were, two eyes staring back at him with a hint of frustration, confusion and amusement in them.

"What're you so goddamn pleased about, boy?"

XXXXXXXXXX

There you go guys! Hope you like it, and let me know what you think! :D I may have more up my sleeve for this story, it all depends on how this Friday's episode goes down though. (Hopefully it won't end with me heartbroken and crying my eyes out) Anyways, if I decide not to carry on with this, im sure there will be plenty more Supernatural and other non spn-related fics coming your way!


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